WARNING!! WARNING!! This post is truly for the benefit of the writer. This blog post is wordy, lengthy and rather self indulgent! Read at your own risk!
I can't believe it has been six months since my last post. It feels like a few weeks ago that we were sitting at the baseball park and enjoying the spring weather. Now, Christmas is here. We have had a crazy 6 months, filled with challenges and joy. There has been a lot of frustration and perhaps, a little too much of our focus has been on the frustration. Nonetheless, I have not felt like blogging. I really felt that if I did not have anything positive to say, I shouldn't post. And, for many months, I have not really felt very positive!
However, I can say I feel a little differently about things now. Not because the situation has changed, in fact, it has gotten worse in some ways, but because my thought process has changed.
As I have confided in friends about the challenges we are experiencing, some of them listen and just provide encouraging words. Some of them don't know what to say, and some of them offer hollow platitudes like, "At least you have your health," or "But you are already so blessed with a family and a home." While that is all true, sometimes you just aren't ready to hear it.
I reached my breaking point in September when I was notified that my wages at my parttime job would be cut by more than 1/2 and the shift I would have to work would not allow me to get my kids to school or take care of them in the afternoons. It suddenly was no longer a viable source of income. This, in addition to Brad becoming part time due to budget cutbacks, was just a little more than I could handle. At that point, I really thought to myself, "What am I doing wrong? Why is the Lord withholding blessings from me? Why is what I am offering to the Lord not enough to get the blessings I need to take care of my family?"
A good friend suggested that I read the talk entitled "Lessons From Liberty Jail." Here is the link. It was a life saver!!
It was then I realized that perhaps I was being blessed and that my offerings were enough. In fact, because of my offerings to the Lord, he was blessing and protecting my family from far more. Since then I have new gratitude for the challenges we are facing.
When I fell in October and broke my leg, I was once again asking "Why? What is the lesson I am supposed to learn from THIS?" At one point I could say, "At least I have my health." Suddenly, I couldn't claim my health anymore!
After my drug induced haze wore off and the pain lessened, and the 8 weeks of near bed rest passed, here is what I have learned:
1. Heavenly Father loves me and my family
2. Sometimes we do not see the reason for a challenge for a long time, but there ALWAYS is a purpose. As one of my children stated, "Heavenly Father is lots smarter than us!"
3. I have a great family! My mother has been so helpful through all of this! She has done my laundry, made a months worth of meals for me, cared for the children, prayed for me and encouraged me, along with my great Dad. What a gift! My siblings have been so helpful when distance has permitted, and always encouraging, no matter their distance. Their humor has helped me keep a positive attitude about my "gimpy" situation!
4. I love my husband! He has been everything to me these last 8 weeks! Only one time did he get frustrated in 8 weeks of waiting on me hand and foot, literally! He has worked everyday, taken care of the kids, done laundry (although his weakness is definitely folding), been the chauffer, made attempts at being the chef :) planned a great birthday party, decorated for Christmas and always treats me with kindness and gentleness. Sure he still ticks me off now and then, but I will always treasure the patience and love he has shown to me.
5. I have been blessed with great boys! My boys treat me so well. Under their father's direction, I am constantly being cared for by my four boys. The biggest frustration has been locating my crutches and scooter when they are cavorting with them! They are sweet and kind and always concerned about my well being. They escort me everywhere and get me whatever I need so that I don't have to get up.
6. I can slow down! I have seen that I can slow down and take more time to enjoy my children. I was running around like a crazy woman for at least a year. So rare were the opportunities I would take to sit and have a quiet moment with one of my boys. There has been a lot of reading together, game playing, and mostly quiet visiting. There are more kisses, hugs and sweet words being expressed. And even though the house isn't spotless and I don't look fabulous all the time, I feel like my family relationships are so much better because I have been forced to shift my focus.
7. My family can take on more responsibility. They have truly risen to the occasion. I clearly tried to do to much before and never accomplished everything! Now, my kids are learning to work and take better care of their home. They are also learning to work together, although it is not always easy.
8. The small everyday moments can be the greatest treasures. Here are a few of those treasures - Carson playing his first guitar solo at school, Colton hugging me and kissing me, unsolicited; Garrett to the barber after he told him he used to vacuum his Grandpa T's hair after haircuts - "Well, you did it too much!" referring to my dad's lack of hair; Turner singing ALL of the Christmas songs by heart as he walks around the house, and the list could go on and on of the things I have seen and heard while "sitting around" for the last 8 weeks.
My life is a gift and even though there are challenges that aren't going to go away anytime soon, I am determined that these circumstances will not dictate the course of our lives. We will use these experiences as a positive force and we will find the path that is meant to be ours. In the end, this little family will be stronger and better. I am becoming more and more grateful each day for the challenges that we face. And that is my blog for today.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Buy Me Some Peanuts and Cracker Jacks...
This post is dedicated to my Colton, who finished up his baseball season tonight. We have had a fun time at the ballpark this summer, 4 or 5 games a week, even though it has been rainy and cold most of the games! Tonight, it was all about Colton. Have I mentioned how much I love this kid? Well, I do!
So, Colton has played this season on THE worst team in the league. I don't deny it, no one does. They stunk! It was as plain as the nose on my face, but we don't need to go there...:) In fact, Carson's team could beat these guys! They couldn't pitch, they couldn't field, they couldn't steal. It was baaad. He has wanted to pitch so badly, but his coaches wouldn't let him, although he was the only one on his team that can make a play. Colton never missed a practice, he practiced after practice, and with Grandpa and his dad. He was completely dedicated. Finally, after 4 or 5 games, and getting their butts kicked everytime, Colton got a chance to pitch and he did great! He has been consistent everytime they put him in to pitch and has held the team together. As soon as they take him out, it is a downward spiral.
(This IS Colton pitching, photo taken with my amazing camera!)
On Saturday, Colton had 4 players up and got three players out, all three outs made by him. Now, you might say that I am overly biased because I am his mother, well, you are right. Even if he was terrible I wouldn't tell you, but he isn't! He has been awesome. Two weeks ago his coaches named him the Team Captain and he has been the starting pitcher the last 3 games, which as Colton says, "is nice to finally get the position that is rightfully mine." :) By the way, have I mentioned that I love this kid?
Hats off to Colton! Way to go on a rough season! You ended the season with a loss but you left the field with your head held high and a smile on your face! We are so proud of you! Can't wait until next season! Next week...Carson!
So, Colton has played this season on THE worst team in the league. I don't deny it, no one does. They stunk! It was as plain as the nose on my face, but we don't need to go there...:) In fact, Carson's team could beat these guys! They couldn't pitch, they couldn't field, they couldn't steal. It was baaad. He has wanted to pitch so badly, but his coaches wouldn't let him, although he was the only one on his team that can make a play. Colton never missed a practice, he practiced after practice, and with Grandpa and his dad. He was completely dedicated. Finally, after 4 or 5 games, and getting their butts kicked everytime, Colton got a chance to pitch and he did great! He has been consistent everytime they put him in to pitch and has held the team together. As soon as they take him out, it is a downward spiral.
(This IS Colton pitching, photo taken with my amazing camera!)
On Saturday, Colton had 4 players up and got three players out, all three outs made by him. Now, you might say that I am overly biased because I am his mother, well, you are right. Even if he was terrible I wouldn't tell you, but he isn't! He has been awesome. Two weeks ago his coaches named him the Team Captain and he has been the starting pitcher the last 3 games, which as Colton says, "is nice to finally get the position that is rightfully mine." :) By the way, have I mentioned that I love this kid?
Hats off to Colton! Way to go on a rough season! You ended the season with a loss but you left the field with your head held high and a smile on your face! We are so proud of you! Can't wait until next season! Next week...Carson!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Where is Heaven?
A few weeks ago I was asked to do a special musical number for this last Sunday. I went through my music and couldn't decide what to sing, when all of a sudden, I got a great idea! I would have my family sing!! Brad and all the boys, could join me in a song called "Where is Heaven." Their enthusiasm was underwhelming, to say the least. We began practicing during FHE each week and they showed some signs of promise. I can say that I have been derelict in my duties of teaching my boys music, for which I am sad. So, we made great strides to make up for that this month! This week Brad and I were not encouraged. Each night as we practiced, it appeared that humiliation was around the bend. The twins wouldn't hold still, Colton & Carson can't stand next to each other for more than 30 seconds without one of them picking at the other and then a brawl ensues, not to mention that they had an extremely difficult time staying in tune. I truly thought the music gene bus had passed them by in the pre-existence. Brad and I usually ended up frustrated, carting them off to bed. Funny thing, the last line of the song answers the question of "Where is heaven?" stating that "when your with the ones you love, it's right where you are!" Yeah, right. :) That's exactly what we were thinking!
Saturday, we went to the church to practice our song with the microphone. What a catastrophe! The twins were almost ejected from the musical number! We determined that we would go forward as planned and if they became silly, we would have to pick them up and hold them. Of course there was the constant fear that Carson would lean over and whisper to them right in the microphone, "Babies! Shut up! You are supposed to be singing! GOSH!" This is a typical reaction. And then there was Carson's magnetic pull to the microphone, you know, you have all seen it! The kid who nearly breaks his neck while singing with the primary trying to get his voice in the mike?! Yeah, we had it all at Saturday's practice.
Sunday morning was a different story. They did great! The older boys were so nervous they were sick, but when we sang they grinned from ear to ear! They did great! The twins were precious and Brad, who has a lovely singing voice, was handsome and proud. I just wanted to post this blog to tell my 5 boys that I love them and I am proud of them! Thanks for singing with your mom!
By the way, while driving in the car Turner asked, "Mom, where is heaven?" Garrett responds as the song states "I know! It's beyond the brightest star!" But I have to say, after yesterday, it really is right where we are!
Saturday, we went to the church to practice our song with the microphone. What a catastrophe! The twins were almost ejected from the musical number! We determined that we would go forward as planned and if they became silly, we would have to pick them up and hold them. Of course there was the constant fear that Carson would lean over and whisper to them right in the microphone, "Babies! Shut up! You are supposed to be singing! GOSH!" This is a typical reaction. And then there was Carson's magnetic pull to the microphone, you know, you have all seen it! The kid who nearly breaks his neck while singing with the primary trying to get his voice in the mike?! Yeah, we had it all at Saturday's practice.
Sunday morning was a different story. They did great! The older boys were so nervous they were sick, but when we sang they grinned from ear to ear! They did great! The twins were precious and Brad, who has a lovely singing voice, was handsome and proud. I just wanted to post this blog to tell my 5 boys that I love them and I am proud of them! Thanks for singing with your mom!
By the way, while driving in the car Turner asked, "Mom, where is heaven?" Garrett responds as the song states "I know! It's beyond the brightest star!" But I have to say, after yesterday, it really is right where we are!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
It's Always Brad's Fault I Am Mad
Warning: The following narrative is the rantings of a tired, sick woman, meant to ease her conscience for the pain she has caused her family in the last 48 hours. Read at your own risk!
It was just one of those days, ya know? So, I have been sick, along with the twins. Runny noses, fevers, etc. What a pain, when the weather is finally so beautiful, I just want to lay in bed. Whatever. To add to it, it is checkout time at BYU, yay! the students are leaving! Crap, I have to check them out before they all go! So I had to work.
The twins were grumpy after work and we went home to take a nap, but while they slept peacefully, I was busy getting things ready for baseball practice. Here's where Brad starts getting in trouble!:) Brad was gone all afternoon helping a friend in need (whatever goody, goody!) and got home just in time for practice. After spending what I felt was a little too much time with J.P. (john porcelain), he finally got to the car. (Brad's fault) I woke the twins up and rushed them to the car. Now, my twins are rather nap dependent and don't take kindly to being disturbed before their time is up. They are screaming at me while I rush them to the car without their shoes. (Brad's fault) I am starting to get more than a little angry, right!? I dropped Brad off to coach Carson's team, oh, yeah, did I mention last year that I didn't ever want to help coach a baseball team again? Welcome to the Geddes family, the family who can't say NO! (Brad's fault) Then, I realize that Colton is supposed to be at baseball practice! Oh yeah, did I mention that Carson had scouts too? So we drive like crazy people to pick him up, drop he and Brad off at the ball park, then I drive Colton over to his practice across town. Then it's back to Brad's practice with the twins to pass out jersey's and meet the parents. Then it's back in the car to pick up Colton, where I am berated for being 30 minutes late (picky isn't he?) and take him to scouts and then back to the park to pick up Brad and Carson.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the homemade bread I lovingly set out to rise, so I could make a delicious dinner of tortellini, breadsticks and salad, has risen to three times it's necessary size. Amazing, but Brad's fault. We get home quickly so we can have a loving family dinner, only to discover that Brad has to go and get parts for his car. (Of course, brad's fault) Great, that will be long enough to bake the bread sticks and get everything else warmed up. After 30 minutes, Brad calls and announces that he is getting tires for my car. (This is where it gets ugly) What?! But I have dinner ready! No matter that my tires are so bald they could blow at any moment, sending me and my precious cargo into a deadly spin on the roadways, most definitely, assuring our quick, yet painful deaths! (Brad has covered this many times) No matter that my thoughtful husband was taking the last moment's of a sunny beautiful day to take care of our family and sit in the tire shop in uncomfortable chairs so that I won't have to do it tomorrow with rowdy twins. No matter! I had dinner on the table and I was ready to BLOW! I begin berating him over the phone - for what? Yes, getting me new tires so I wouldn't have to do it tomorrow. What a jerk!? Yes, for coaching our son's little league team, even though baseball is his least favorite sport, (I think synchronized swimming ranks higher), so he can spend time with his son. Yes, for being a good friend to an old friend and spending an afternoon with him (always thinking of himself, right?) So, see how it's always Brad's fault I am mad? Cause now I am mad that I got mad at Brad. He just never stops!
It was just one of those days, ya know? So, I have been sick, along with the twins. Runny noses, fevers, etc. What a pain, when the weather is finally so beautiful, I just want to lay in bed. Whatever. To add to it, it is checkout time at BYU, yay! the students are leaving! Crap, I have to check them out before they all go! So I had to work.
The twins were grumpy after work and we went home to take a nap, but while they slept peacefully, I was busy getting things ready for baseball practice. Here's where Brad starts getting in trouble!:) Brad was gone all afternoon helping a friend in need (whatever goody, goody!) and got home just in time for practice. After spending what I felt was a little too much time with J.P. (john porcelain), he finally got to the car. (Brad's fault) I woke the twins up and rushed them to the car. Now, my twins are rather nap dependent and don't take kindly to being disturbed before their time is up. They are screaming at me while I rush them to the car without their shoes. (Brad's fault) I am starting to get more than a little angry, right!? I dropped Brad off to coach Carson's team, oh, yeah, did I mention last year that I didn't ever want to help coach a baseball team again? Welcome to the Geddes family, the family who can't say NO! (Brad's fault) Then, I realize that Colton is supposed to be at baseball practice! Oh yeah, did I mention that Carson had scouts too? So we drive like crazy people to pick him up, drop he and Brad off at the ball park, then I drive Colton over to his practice across town. Then it's back to Brad's practice with the twins to pass out jersey's and meet the parents. Then it's back in the car to pick up Colton, where I am berated for being 30 minutes late (picky isn't he?) and take him to scouts and then back to the park to pick up Brad and Carson.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the homemade bread I lovingly set out to rise, so I could make a delicious dinner of tortellini, breadsticks and salad, has risen to three times it's necessary size. Amazing, but Brad's fault. We get home quickly so we can have a loving family dinner, only to discover that Brad has to go and get parts for his car. (Of course, brad's fault) Great, that will be long enough to bake the bread sticks and get everything else warmed up. After 30 minutes, Brad calls and announces that he is getting tires for my car. (This is where it gets ugly) What?! But I have dinner ready! No matter that my tires are so bald they could blow at any moment, sending me and my precious cargo into a deadly spin on the roadways, most definitely, assuring our quick, yet painful deaths! (Brad has covered this many times) No matter that my thoughtful husband was taking the last moment's of a sunny beautiful day to take care of our family and sit in the tire shop in uncomfortable chairs so that I won't have to do it tomorrow with rowdy twins. No matter! I had dinner on the table and I was ready to BLOW! I begin berating him over the phone - for what? Yes, getting me new tires so I wouldn't have to do it tomorrow. What a jerk!? Yes, for coaching our son's little league team, even though baseball is his least favorite sport, (I think synchronized swimming ranks higher), so he can spend time with his son. Yes, for being a good friend to an old friend and spending an afternoon with him (always thinking of himself, right?) So, see how it's always Brad's fault I am mad? Cause now I am mad that I got mad at Brad. He just never stops!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Did you know....?
So, let me start by saying, my babies, Turner and Garrett, love to play make believe. They will pretend to be characters in a movie or they will play "Waterfall and Mt. Timpanogos." Many mornings Turner, who can stay in character all day, will come in to my room and meow or whimper at me to wake me up, depending on whether he is a cat or dog.
When Pinocchio came out on DVD last week, I rushed out to buy an old classic, that I was sure my boys would love. Well, I was right. They watched it multiple times in the first week we had it and soon had the make believe down pat. They would switch between Gepetto, Monstro (Maestro the whale), Giminy Cricket and P"ee"nocchio, the real boy.
But, did you know that the word "jack ass" is in the movie Pinocchio? I didn't - at least until I heard my boys playing make believe, calling each other jack asses and hearing them bray like donkeys! Verbatim it went like this "What do I look like a jack ass?" Then the other one says, "You sure do! Hee Haw! Hee Haw!"
I couldn't help but laugh - from the other room of course. Seriously, I need to learn to edit DVD's before I let these two watch them and do live reproductions!
When Pinocchio came out on DVD last week, I rushed out to buy an old classic, that I was sure my boys would love. Well, I was right. They watched it multiple times in the first week we had it and soon had the make believe down pat. They would switch between Gepetto, Monstro (Maestro the whale), Giminy Cricket and P"ee"nocchio, the real boy.
But, did you know that the word "jack ass" is in the movie Pinocchio? I didn't - at least until I heard my boys playing make believe, calling each other jack asses and hearing them bray like donkeys! Verbatim it went like this "What do I look like a jack ass?" Then the other one says, "You sure do! Hee Haw! Hee Haw!"
I couldn't help but laugh - from the other room of course. Seriously, I need to learn to edit DVD's before I let these two watch them and do live reproductions!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Wow! What a winter!
So, I am not sure if this beats my record for "length of time ignoring my blog," but it must come pretty close. This has been a crazy winter for us so I feel lucky to be coming out alive at this point. A brief rundown:
November - Brad begins inaugural season as Head Women's Basketball Coach at Salem Hills High School - This means, he is gone all the time, I am a single mom and we are all trapped indoors because it is cold.
November also included a great trip, and long overdue, to Arizona for our adorable niece's wedding and Thanksgiving with the Geddes clan. Might I say, there are a ton of Geddes's! It was nuts, but lots of fun. My boys haven't stopped talking about it.
December - This month brought crazy amounts of snow to our yard, and boys who could finally escape. After they got snow gear from top to bottom, they spent hours outside! Yea! We had a wonderful Christmas. Both of my brothers came home from North Carolina and Arizona and all my sisters were here as well. We got to meet our new nephew Brody! So cute! Much better looking than his daddy! :)
January - A New Year and another new baby! We got a surprise New Year's gift when my brother Jeff, who was visiting with his wife Jaimi and their little girl Summer, had a baby placed with them for adoption. It all happened very quickly, but was a ton of fun. Baby Gracen is adorable and we miss her and her big sister dreadfully!
We also started Basketball season in earnest. Games for Brad twice a week and games for Colton and Carson every Saturday. Scouts got running again and that made for busy nights.
Colton turned 11 on the 22nd and has graduated from the cub scouts. He went out with a bang, receiving a special award for earning every possible award in the Webelos program. He is a great kid!
Brad also had a birthday, but we are not really talking about that!
February - this month has brought some more surprises and joy. Joy, on my part anyways, that basketball season is almost over! and Surprises because we have decided to put our house on the market and move to Salem. We found an awesome house in Woodland Hills, which is up on the mountain. It overlooks the valley and is on 1.3 acres. It is surrounded by trees and is just a dream. First, of course, we have to sell our place. So we are hoping for the best.
I have some pictures, but in keeping with my theme of running behind, I have yet to download them! Maybe someday!
November - Brad begins inaugural season as Head Women's Basketball Coach at Salem Hills High School - This means, he is gone all the time, I am a single mom and we are all trapped indoors because it is cold.
November also included a great trip, and long overdue, to Arizona for our adorable niece's wedding and Thanksgiving with the Geddes clan. Might I say, there are a ton of Geddes's! It was nuts, but lots of fun. My boys haven't stopped talking about it.
December - This month brought crazy amounts of snow to our yard, and boys who could finally escape. After they got snow gear from top to bottom, they spent hours outside! Yea! We had a wonderful Christmas. Both of my brothers came home from North Carolina and Arizona and all my sisters were here as well. We got to meet our new nephew Brody! So cute! Much better looking than his daddy! :)
January - A New Year and another new baby! We got a surprise New Year's gift when my brother Jeff, who was visiting with his wife Jaimi and their little girl Summer, had a baby placed with them for adoption. It all happened very quickly, but was a ton of fun. Baby Gracen is adorable and we miss her and her big sister dreadfully!
We also started Basketball season in earnest. Games for Brad twice a week and games for Colton and Carson every Saturday. Scouts got running again and that made for busy nights.
Colton turned 11 on the 22nd and has graduated from the cub scouts. He went out with a bang, receiving a special award for earning every possible award in the Webelos program. He is a great kid!
Brad also had a birthday, but we are not really talking about that!
February - this month has brought some more surprises and joy. Joy, on my part anyways, that basketball season is almost over! and Surprises because we have decided to put our house on the market and move to Salem. We found an awesome house in Woodland Hills, which is up on the mountain. It overlooks the valley and is on 1.3 acres. It is surrounded by trees and is just a dream. First, of course, we have to sell our place. So we are hoping for the best.
I have some pictures, but in keeping with my theme of running behind, I have yet to download them! Maybe someday!
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